♥ life (Trial Blog)

Which are the best gifts we could give our kids?

One of them is a strong set of personal values. And what is our personal values? Do we actually set a good example to our children everyday? Remember, everything we do would be a reflection of what our children might follow in future, be it good or bad.

There's a sentence (shown in the magazine) which I loved most, "Once you sow a habit, you reap a destiny."

Priceless principles (extracted from the mag)

1. Courtesy & Respect: Courteous behaviour towards everyone - be it parents, superiors or the cleaners at the hawker centre - show respects for others and for oneself. A courteous child reflects a good upbringing and gives skills to get along with others, be like and command respect as a grown-up. It goes deeper than just remembering to say "please" and "thank you". It also involves teaching children to be thoughtful when communicating with others - greeting their elders, choosing sensitive words rather than harsh ones, thanking those who provided a service and letting the elderly go first. Such lessions call for parental role modelling. Don't belittle children or shout at them, as this shows them mocking and yelling at others are acceptable ways to communicate. And correct them at once when they are impolite.

2. Hard work: Teach children the value of hard work and they will not be sidelined by the temptation of taking "the easy way out". When kids learn good working habits and attitudes when they are young, they able to live a productive life by continuing to work hard towards their goals. Instilling the value of hard work in children enables them to face life's challenges, work for what they want and motivate themselves to excel. Lamenting on how many kids have a sense of entitlement these days, Nur Farah Yahya, 42 a trainer and mother, is all for giving kids chores at home. "Doing housework and having after-school; jobs (for older kids) can build self-esteem and confidence. As adults, we feel a sense of satisfaction after a job well done, so pass that on to your kids!"

3. Honesty & Intergrity: Honesty is the backbone of healthy relationships in life. Teaching children this value is an important and ongoing lesson. Explain to them that people who lie are not trusted and respected. By demonstrating the value of integrity, parents show children the importance of keeping to their word, says Theresa. "Children will learn that their word is their bond - even if it's a simple exercise like clearing the table after homework," she explains. Stress the importance of always being able to count on each other to tell the truth, even when it's difficult. "Be honest with your children and, if you catch them lying, don't shame them into admitting the truth," suggests Nur Farah. "I give my kids a chance to admit the truth first and praise them if they do. If they don't, then I stress that, as a family, it's important for us to be able to count on each other to be honest."

4. Empathy and Compassion: Being considerate and compassionate underpins the quality of niceness. Children who don't learn empathy become callous and offensive adults, oblivious of how their actions or hurt others. Teach a child to put himself in another's position and imagine what the other person might feel. Ask: "How would you feel if someone called you names?"

Mirror, mirror
In daily life, parents should monitor their own behaviour, Theresa says: "Parents need to take a honest look at themselves when they deal with conflict. Are they good listeners or defensive? Children observe your behaviour. In cases of mistakes, apologises in the kids' presence. Speak kindly and respectfully to your spouse and show children that you value each other. Values begin at home."